Lynda Mac

I never forget my son any day of the week

Today darling ,your Mum sends you all her to love to you on your birthday ,for you are a truly remarkable child. I bought you card like I do every birthday I never miss your birthday , I never forget you on your birthday or any other day.The place is just so empty with out you in our world.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday lots of love from your mum & brother G xxxxxx

Friday 15th October 2004

This contact was proving very tough in fact I had to ring up Addenbrookes hospital to ask them to talk to the social worker on the case. Today is also a hard enough day to get through, it is also the anniversary of my late mother dying of breast cancer . I am sitting in a side room with a same sex foster carer asking me questions. We are trying to make the most of the short time we are allowed on visits. My friends daughter is on the same ward ,after being rushed in with her appendix.This is what Social Services & the staff do not get: families who have know us socially for well over 20 years were on the same wards in both hospitals. I was told to stand up for myself by one father in Addenbrookes his son was an in-patient on C2 . He could see the pack surrounding me the other foster carer & the accompanying social worker in tow.

I tried most days not to look at the clock incase it alerted the family aid worker to it was time to go. I told C to look out the window as we had to leave and we would wave to him outside ,we would look up. It was soul destroying to see a foster carer and the social worker work on him . I looked back over the footage of videos and the comment’s C came out with.

It was like he had it explained to him why I could not look after him,he gave an example to the family aid as we went up the river Cambs in a punt. He illustrated for the FA S he said” look at him , I bet my mother could not do that ” I replied no I do not think I could do that “.The gentleman was using a big piece of machinery to saw down large tree trunks. Only now can I reflect back and see the work needed to be put in to reassure C it was all in his best interests to be in foster-care as I could not look after him properly now he had leukeamia.

We keep on returning to the L& D he was born on the 8th December 1996 I took him home in a taxi ,brought him up cared for him during difficult circumstances . Never would my son have been made a referral to social services . Now I had no choice but to let them stream in like your worst nightmare. I think he was sedated when he was transfered from Addenbrookes hospital, the play leader drove him in a car.I read later in the bundles the mother rang up she knows he is on his way. I wanted to be there to see him meet the team who were looking after him . The judge said let me attend , the social services were trying back then to cut me out. Now we all compare notes on how long it takes to rule you out as a parent destroy your relationship with your child or grandchild and pack then off to strangers.

It started to rain on the day they moved him on 7th of July in the afternoon.I remember first seeing him come around the corner ,I guessed it would be the Children’s outpatients they had to bring him there. C had on his cream coloured hoody with the red writing on. I was numb as he looked awful after being locked in Addenbrookes ward C2 for weeks waiting to be released into a foster care placement.

We gathered by the car park machine under the shelter, suddenly it was time to go, the Foster Carer said”come her darling get under my coat from the rain” he automatically done what she asked him to do. She walked away this woman I never knew with my son across Lewsey Road to the car park.

I can not tell you what this took to not break down here in front of my son ,the nursery nurse, and the family aid worker.d to keep to the working agreement they made me sign this in court.

I never signed the next working agreement they produced.