Lynda Mac

Wednesday 22nd September 2004 9:00 am solicitor

Thursday 23rd September 2004 4-:00pm -5-30 pm

Purple supervised contact is it on or off ?

Appointment for Dr Sturge child & adult psychiatrist ? 2:30 pm they will not be back in time for contact ? This doctor does not travel not even for

I was looking through old photographs of us as a family the other day. I remember the office up in London of QC Paul Storey ,we had a conference for an appeal in 2005. I wish now I had not taken the legal advice I was given , concede to emotional harm criteria. Anyone else reading this if you get told to do the same, get up open the door and walk out get another solicitor. I read his face when he looked at my barrister or more to the point I read both their faces.

Anyway we were offered coffee and I am sitting there looking around his office at his family photographs . I do not know what prompted me to say this but ,I come out with this,pointing in the direction of Mr Storey’s collection of family portraits.” I have all of these too” I have family photographs that some how might be of some kind of importance to him.

The memories that we all have, of times spent together mean so much to us as a family .Adam Faith once said something about taking photos everyday of his family he just had to take them every day . I can’t remember his exact words now. A lot of mothers take the photographs down they can not bear to look at them once they have lost their children in closed court.

Back to the 2004 diaries

Sunday 19th I remember this day I looked a state I had not had time to wash my hair was busy getting the house done . At about 5:30pm some lady called to the house claiming that she had no telephone number I gave it to her then rang the hospital to see if my son was ok . C was complaining of back ache. Social services sent a hand delivered letter. I just can not work them out .They are so bloody incompetent.I mean under multi-agency gathering some department could have given her my telephone number.

Monday 20th September 2004

As early as 8:30 the social worker rang explaining the Looked After Child meeting was cancelled .I mean were would we be without these meetings? Someone would be out of a job that’s were we would be.

4:30 -5:30 pm contact is back on again C was discharged from hospital at some point . C was trying to hide the amount of pain he was in ,maybe he thought they would stop the contact we were at Purple Professionals. It was very distressing he was in a lot of pain and getting worse. I rang the hospital and asked what to do , it was unbearable the wait so I rang back . There is an issue with giving calpol as it can mask something else going on so you have to ask if this is ok to give this.

The social worker was in the back of the building in the dark room at the back of the house. She is doing another assessment of a family with the 2 little girls. Someone must have called her , she came into the front room were we were in having supervised contact,this was with another social worker .The hospital rang back they confirmed, that it was ok to give C the calpol .

I said to the social worker , who left the Purple House Contact Center ,to then go and buy a bottle of calpol make sure you get 6 years + she obviously did not have children or experience of really looking after any of her own,except just text book to go on.

That is odd thing here they had none in the building as other families had to stay over night for assessments. What if a child got ill over night ,you could not drive to Tesco’s and back and supervise families. It is important to note some families are accused of msbp so will not be able to handle medications even over the counter medication.

Tuesday 21st September 2004

week off

temp? treatment maybe delayed : infection ?

I have decided to take time out for a break again from the diaries.I have been busy with paperwork for a complaint to the GMC I have sat scanning in documents ,and will have to go up to the London office with a suitcase full of paperwork.

You literally have 5 years to put in a complaint about a doctor it will take you 2 years to get your bundles of the NHS or shister’s you call solicitors .Most people do not bother to do this the complaints system sucks,& literally it does not work as a service to complain .I would like to try & do this, so that other families do not have to suffer like we have. Simply because I had a history of a long incurable disease which was chronic and resistant to mainline treatment I am paying the maximum penalty .

The out come is: I have found that since the reports came out, something that never really had any bearing before on my being able to look after my son. Please note that prior to the court case,this problem now exists were it never existed before , An expert found I had something called abnormal illness behaviour which reared its ugly head in a fax on the 2nd August 2004 ,this is before she had even met me to write reports for court.

This is the final nail in the coffin ,the excuse now made to prevent me from looking after my son in the future . Something that has never been documented, or significantly impacted on my standards of parenting or care, now exists because of an opinion of an independent expert witness.

This goes against the grain to complain about doctors or hospitals however, I am not alone in doing this very daunting exercise. I am left with no choice really if the doctor had to invite another expert to join her in this joint assessment prior to even reading the medical bundles .

So much for integrity. Since then my trust in doctors has gone down the pan long term. I mean who can you trust if not doctors? I wonder about the so called cot death cases how many cases she has done were families are now in prison without hope of appeal in miscarriages of justice. Apart form the high profile cases nobody will say how many family cases in secret courts have been sent to prison.

Changing the subject now back to normal life stuff everyday ,stuff people manage do, that we now have trouble going about our daily lives,which is living with a long term bereavement over a child lost in the courts system .

Your life is now a life sentence, and it is not that easy to get over the experience at all, most live a lonely life,or are in fact living on the fringes of society now, existing in a life of utter purgatory .

My friend L sent me an e-mail he sends me the most lovely photographs of many of the fantastic landscapes & suburbs of Canada .Some of these locations are pure heaven on earth Algonquin Park the nature resort .I simply smile as the e-mails bounce in full of colour and the simple life that most families live and share the moment with them .I welcome seeing the e-mails come in of them, going about, out on their outings with their lovely dog Charlie.

Just a little more news on the dog subject . Recently my son G got a puppy and we just adore the amount of joy & love this little bundle has brought into our lives.

Never mind the thousands of

We will all believe this when it happens, talk is only certain media will be allowed in. I personally think expert witnesses & social workers should be given convictions in cases of blatant perjury and non disclosure of evidence.

The truth is the Local Authority are very good at delaying bundles of paperwork until the 11th hour. Your barrister does not even get the paperwork in time to prepare for court.

I have to admire the back bone of some of these families who have gone LIP and been battered by some Local Authority barrister, I mean imagine the fun in that ? These barristers are alright going 1-1 in court scoring points of each other.The game is over now, gone are the days when people are afraid to go into court without a solicitor. People are past the point of no return and who can blame them now.

It has come down to this now the legal game has gone per shaped, with increases of LIP up by 70% .The naming and shaming of firms of solicitors has gone up too.

The advice now is this when the Local Authority threaten to take your children away say this ,carry on then.

The power of removing is what it is all about, the status and the money earning factor involved. I personally wished I had the facts back then 4 years ago .It is so much easier to know you can not win.

I am in need of a break right now as I am recovering from key hole surgery for a frozen shoulder however I have a lot more work to put in if I am to get a result. I am doing this so no more families have to go through what we went through in 2004-2006 in closed court.

Moving on now

The GMC want more evidence about my complaint about Dr Claire Sturge , this expert has stepped out of her field and misled the judge in our case this is very common and leads to cases like the Prof Meddows,also Dr David Southall cases of miscarriage of justice.

I typed in Dr Wilkins yesterday on the GMC site the other independent witness and I found this complaint about him click on the link below.

I am tackling 1 expert at a time, it is a mammoth task to get trough the panel on the GMC . I was told this in 2005 by John Batt solicitor for Sally Clark. You will have a job to do this with 3 experts .Then he asked me “What have you done” he asked me and what do you want done? I replied conceded to emotional harm and was later done for neglect . It is always doubled by some other allegation.

I typed in Dr Wilkins to see if he is registered on the GMC and found someone else has put in a complaint.

This expert would not believe domestic violence issues in our case. Is that right ? It seems he even writes reports without ever having met the person .

Well I would like my name cleared first and then to have my child returned to me ,after the allegations child abuse.

I just laughed out loud when I read” the expert refused the warning” his solicitor said later he would take the warning.

Imagine thinking you are always in the right?

When I met him Dr Wilkins was so arrogant, he has not changed in 4 years : this is it really , they know they are unaccountable for their actions in closed court.

I nearly walked under train after these experts had finished with me ,I felt so low . I had to continue going for the sake of my children. This kind of assessment is always going to cause the maximum amount of harm to a parent.I will leave the psychologist for another day, I will post an out of date MMP1 which he done and is not acceptable here in the UK .

My advice to you is this ,simply refuse to do this report if asked to do so by your solicitor and also refuse to admit to the threshold criteria for emotional harm. If they are going to find it let them , if they are going to bring witnesses let them

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7679608.

stmhttp://www.gmc-uk.org/concerns/hearings_and_decisions/ftp/20080611_ftp_panel_wilkins.asp

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/law/article2999992.ece

Moving on now to those diaries 2004-2006 supervised contact

15th Wednesday September Doctors appointment DNA could not go .

16th thursday

Purple Professionals 4- 5-30pm

cancelled appointments for Dr Sturge C & foster carers instead are going .

10:00 am solicitors appointment

cancelled moved to Friday 2:00pm next week ?

I just do not know were I am on any given day with meetings hospital and contact it is on and off at a moments notice.

17th September 2004 Friday 2:30 Dr Sturge

18th Saturday 2:00 -6:00pm there is 1 hour given to G C’s oldest brother for supervised contact please note all the contact before these reports and important final hearing.

Request to social worker to go into Luton shopping and to eat in a restaurant.

I notice C’s fingers are bitten , they are so red he said he is scared. I feel the same I am scared and will remain scared for the rest of our lives until this matter is resolved there will be no peace again for us as a family where ever we are.

We are stuck in a dump begging to be let out to carry on a normal life.

Does this not strike you as abnormal?.

copy right of When Will I be coming Home the contents of this blog or material must not be used without the owners permission

I am up to 11th September 2004 in the diary , this date is most memorable, or well known for the ground zero victims who fell in 9/11 in New York. I came across a photograph I had taken on my last trip with G my eldest son. This is a place were people left a message on wire fence in NY hoping to find a lost loved 1. I went on my own 2004 on my first ever trip to NY , for a few days when my son was in foster care. This was C’s first ever experience of camping and he hated it, the foster carers took him to Taunton in Devon. We never went camping at all in our lives, ok if you like this sort of thing I suppose ,we were more used to an easier lifestyle of going on holidays.

The internet is fast becoming a meeting place for many families to get in touch with each other.

I mean how do people simply get lost or left behind? Well sadly for all sorts of reasons this can happen people loose touch with one another.

I do try to keep up with friends on a regular basis , so I was delighted to find my cousin Js son on Facebook a few weeks ago and Ray Winstone wrote on my wall which really made my day ,god bless him , that was so nice of him thank you RAY X.

It was breath of life brought back into me, seeing J again . I recently went back up to Liverpool to see my Aunt F who was terminally ill in May 2005. I also went back to where I grew up in Liverpool the place of culture.

I have some very fond memories of growing up in the City with 2 cathedrals,we must meet up soon J and chat about the good times soon. I m so lucky to have known my family ,sadly far to many children are lost in this system here in the UK in closed court.

I hope to bench mark this case for my son C and other families to be allowed to find a genetic key they so badly need in the future. The focus will have to be on children who have been adopted, my son is not adopted,however it makes me think now if, the cases concerning miscarriages of justice will ever be opened in our life time concerning the closed Family Courts.

I am probably naive ,even deluded to think I can do anything to change the laws that rule govern our lives. Then I think of all the other landmark cases, and I am able I find the energy to carry on for the hope that 1 day people will open up the closed courts and challenge the experts who mislead the courts in providing un-sound evidence.This evidence based upon factually incorrect information.I am capable only of telling the truth, if I am not allowed ,or prevented from telling the truth : then this is an injustice.

Then this would mean disclosure of evidence, something the courts will not allow. It is in the interests of the professionals to keep the doors firmly closed in the future .

Thanks to Simon Clayton , people are allowed to show their paperwork when the LIP in court to a Mac Kenzie Friend.

I have seen papers many cases in this capacity and people have seen my papers after a consent as a legal advisor.I spoke to journalist’s recently about our case .It is unfair to expect the media or the public who will never be up to speed unless you can bring them into the loop .

The general public do not have a clue what can happen to their family all in the name of Child Protect.

Back to the diary 2004

Saturday – Sunday 11th- 12th September 2004 I have no contact.

13th September Monday 2004 contact at Purple Professionals centre 4:00- 5:30pm

We were asked to move out of a room in an end of terraced property to make way for a large family who were visiting their children in a contact centre.This is what people do not get : the courts and social services are more than willing to take greater risks with a child’s safety or put at risk , once they have a court order.

None of these so called professionals are trained to deal with a child coping with leukaemia. Today we are sitting in view of everyone else in a contact centre in a cold conservatory.

A door opens to a room to the left of a conservatory. We have yet to use this grim dark room yet, a blonde lady of about 30 years of age walks out and into the conservatory with 2 lovely little girls of about 5 -7 years old .The mother of the girls then wants a word with the social worker.

She is now explaining to the SW that her daughter has a viral infection.

“Oh great news” just what my poor son does not need now , he has put in a full day in school, he is tired , he has no choice now but to come to this shit hole to see his mum now and also pick up a viral infection which could cause him significant problems.

We live in a nice area and live in a warm comfortable home 5 minutes away from the school why can’t he come home?

I simply can not endure much more of this incompetence .I take the SW aside and tell her about C’s treatment explain he will soon be at a stage were he is neutrapenic: susceptible to picking up infections. I ask the mother can she step out of the conservatory as my son is having chemotherapy and it is not advisable he mix with people who are going to put him at risk of picking up infections.

14th Tuesday 2004 11: 00 am C is to have his Doxorubicin – Vincristine at Addenbrookes Hospital Cambridge.

The diary reads 6 days later he is in hospital

Moving on now

I have not suffered as much as Sally Clark who died 16th March 2007 after her ordeal after being falsely accused of murdering her child . The general public needs to know this is still going on in closed court with many families wrongly accused or being set up to admit to emotional harm allegations .

I have experienced at the 11th hour something I never expected to hear from a professional child/adult psychiatrist in giving evidence. I have met another mother who had her for an expert in court.

What is interesting is this, I had the same lady barrister was involved in both our cases. She was acting for Luton for the local authority in our case. And in L’s case she was acting for her. The similarities are in so much we both got told to concede to emotional harm .Then later on neglect was added to this charge in connection to maladministration of paperwork . The other mother lost her case 2 children went to Australia the 3rd child to adoption was twin tracked ,he had nothing to do with the case. The bottom line is that people are talking about expert witnesses and their cases to MP’s also to a Mac Kenzie Friends.

There is also something very odd when an MP tries to help for over 4 years now, today we are no further forward .I have been writing to my MP Kelvin Hopkins for 4 years now , he has not seen my paperwork so it is of little surprise then, that this is the end result.

The MP’s need to get hands on.If this is true: they actually work for you. Surely this can be arranged in debate in Parliament in the future. It is high time to go to work and end the secrecy of closed court. Talk after 5 years is still going on and MPs soon forget the subject of countless requests for transparency.

I feel ill this week as the painkillers have upset my stomach after recent surgery .This now feels like a run up to a flare up of Ulcerative Colitis, so this week, I went for blood test I have been told to up the Lanzoprazole to 2 a day now and am taking Metronidazole . For any one who has insight about this disease or has this incurable disease I have sympathy for you .

Then if you are like me , you will then have to suffer being labelled in closed court by doctors as having “abnormal illness behaviour”. I hear this is nothing new , as I finished reading” Provoked” I found myself unable to put down the book.

I read about Southall Black Sister’s Campaigner’s , how 1 lady got in to a medical conference as a char lady serving refreshments to people attending the conference. I would also like to attend a medical conference and throw up into the air my medical notes, whilst this Dr Clarie Sturge is chairing ,or training future doctors to give evidence.She mislead the courts in 2005 by saying” I do not have UC “however, this was later confirmed by another expert witness. I am shocked she even said this in the first place,: I mean pathology should read as science based evidence. What is this doctors field of expertise in ? It can not be medicine surely ?

This is frightening to observe psychiatry ,applied to medical science, or medical evidence being tainted or tampered with ,then presented as a report to a judge who also has little or no knowledge of science. There is no justification in using junk science with pathology treat the cause and not the & symptom. It is too long ,it is too dangerous, and it is evil to say this serious medical disease is in fact somatic when it is well know as an immune problem .

Even in closed court you do not, persecute families for having an illness. This is the reality r abnormality that you can expect to be subjected to when taking part in reports written up for court. This is not acceptable, or is it right ,to expect any human being ,to have to accept this kind of treatment.

This is what it boils down to for mothers who have been abused by the system. It is referred to now or known as psychiatric threat therapy,mostly it happens to mothers who are in custody battles in closed court or about to lose their babies in forced adoption cases.

Going back now to the medical conferences. Thank you to a friend who sent me an e-mail showing me this doctor charges

2nd September 2004 a month later I have made a reference to this fax in my diary. This is from an expert witness to the child’s solicitor ,who is the joey .The joey is now a Judge in Milton Keynes now,I checked out his CV recently ,he had a year out and has been a solicitor for 11 years . [Joey is slang for someone who will do something for someone else an errand boy].

I have met distraught parents who told me they never even had an opportunity to meet the expert witness for court.The reports were just written up anyway.

The dairy entry reads later on my appointment which is a week later, after the fathers appointment which is on : 10th September 2:30 pm Tel 0208 4279192 Gayton Road Harrow Middlesex .Child & Family Centre not sure if this is NHS or private ,I am due on the 17th September.

I remember I arrived in a black taxi cab. Dr Sturge was standing behind me, as I rang the bell.She was an elderly lady with grey roots ,showing through dyed dark blonde hair, she wore colorful cheap framed glasses, I remember she sat constantly chewing sweets, all the way through the session. I wondered what cost